📧 Day 2 – When Support Becomes Pressure

RESET #2: Your child may not hear your words but they always feel your energy.

As a parent, it’s easy to think you’re being supportive: you show up, you care, you want them to succeed. But support feels different than pressure and the line between the two is often invisible until it’s crossed.

You might say “I just want you to do your best,”
but if your tone, body language, or follow-up questions suggest otherwise,
your child will pick up on it and shift their focus from the game to your expectations.

When support starts to feel like pressure:

• You give “helpful reminders” during warm-up or rounds

• You look visibly frustrated after a mistake (hands on hips, sighs, walking away)

• You constantly offer tips, even when they didn’t ask

• You say you’re proud “no matter what,” but only seem excited after good rounds

To a kid, these moments don’t feel like support.
They feel like pressure to protect your mood.

What your child sees (and hears):

• "I’m not doing enough."

• "I need to fix this or they’ll be upset."

• "They’re disappointed in me."
  Even if that’s not what you mean they’re still interpreting it that way.

And once that happens, they’re no longer learning how to compete.
They’re just managing your reaction.

Words that build safety (not pressure):

Before a Round

• “Have fun out there, play your game.”

• “Trust what you’ve been working on.”

• “No matter what happens, I’m proud of you.”

After a Tough Round

• “Want to talk or just relax for now?”

• “I’m here for you, bad rounds don’t change that.”

• “I saw how hard you tried. That matters more than the score.”

During a Struggle (if you must say something)

• “Reset, one shot at a time.”

• “You're stronger than this moment.”

• “Keep going. I believe in you.”

In General Conversation

• “I love that you care so much.”

• “You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to keep showing up.”

• “I trust you to figure it out, and I’ve always got your back.”

Key Insight:

Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect, they just need you to be steady. The way you respond in tough moments teaches them how to respond to pressure themselves.

Reflection:

What are some small behaviors, words, tone, body language that your junior golfer might interpret as pressure, even if that’s not your intention? Have this conversation with them.

If this message helped you, consider sharing it with another parent who might need it, too.

Disclaimer:
The ideas shared in this series come from my personal experience as a coach and my own research into youth sports and parenting in golf. Every family is different. I encourage you to keep learning, reflecting, and finding what works best for your child.

See you tomorrow on Day 3!

Also, next week you’ll learn how Tiger made the swing change that helped him become the ultimate champion. Stay tuned!